We’ve all heard jokes about uncontrollable fabric shopping and overflowing fabric stashes. We’ve laughed at them with a knowing cringe for certainly all of us are guilty of buying fabric we didn’t have a need for just because we loved it. And almost as certainly all of us have done it more than once.
The jokes are funny. I can relate, in fact, I’ve posted quite a few. We laugh because there’s some truth behind the jokes. Recently, and I say this while not trying to sound uptight, I think these jokes are starting to becoming more sad than funny. I think the sewing industry is laughing at us, not with us as they introduce yet another new line of coordinating, themed cottons.
Twice in the last month I had to buy notions for a project I was in the middle of. First trip was to a chain fabric store. In the parking lot I reminded myself I only needed X. I walked straight to where I thought I would find it then to the register and back to the car. I left feeling proud of myself for not buying anything else.
The second notion emergency run was to the independent fabric store. Again I went straight to where I knew my needed item would be. The sales assistant, after helping me choose the color thread I had already selected, seemed sort of put out that I was ready to be rung up. Didn’t I want to buy some fabric I may never use? No thanks, not today, I’m being “good”.
Really, this was my reaction? I felt “proud” that I could control myself like an adult should and not consume items I don’t need? That by not buying fabric I was being a “good girl”? That seems a little silly. Are we really behaving like spoiled children? Have we lost control? Signed our souls over to the sewing industry for an occasional endorphin rush? Are we so gullible to every fabric sale, coupon, new pattern promotion or sewing book release that we hand over our credit card and beg to be in debt?
Marketing is a strong force and we’re lying to ourselves if we think sewing companies, fabric shops and pattern makers are looking out for us. As I’ve heard said, “No brand is your friend.” A business needs to make money. My money, your money, any sewist with an extra $20 will do. “Sucker”, they say on the way to the bank and they toss us another meme about buying fabric.
We hear about food waste in the world and what a tragedy it is to buy food we never eat but just throw away. Well, I have fabric that I bought 25 years ago and still not cut into. Not thrown away but certainly ignored like those scallions in my produce drawer. I have given yardage away to friends and to charities where, depending on how dated the design or style of the fabric, it may be used or it could be tossed. I also have fabric the sun has bleached where it was folded sitting on a shelf for too many years rendering it questionable for use; past its Best By Date.
My grandmother made quilts for everyday use out of tiny fabric scraps. My other grandmother and her sister, when they were teenagers, bartered housework in exchange for a large women’s dress and then cut it up and sewed it into two dresses so they would each have one. They didn’t waste. They didn’t have stock piles of fabric sitting for years and getting added to which is a waste, not of fabric, but of resources. I know my grandmothers were of a different time but why do we, modern women, most of us better educated, with more independence and personal freedoms cave in so eagerly to the manipulations of the sewing industry?
I understand buying fabric or patterns you truly love when you see them. I know sometimes it may take a while to use them but to never use them is denying yourself your creative passion. To never get enjoyment from working with that fabric, to never advance your sewing skills from sewing up that pattern, to never try something new from that book of ideas is not why you bought these things. The exact opposite thought popped in your head when you first saw that wonderful fabric, pattern, craft book. You were going to make something. No one ever says, “I’m going to buy two yards of this so I can never use it.” But that’s what we do. When we buy what we don’t need we are being wasteful and setting ourselves up for guilt, that “gift-with-purchase” thrown in for extra pleasure.
Years after a purchase I see an item I bought and feel guilt for not following through on what I told myself I was going to do. I feel guilt as I remember having to have that fabric that was hyped as so “on trend”. Guilt that I still haven’t touched that pattern I bought a year ago when it was 20% off. I feel guilt for falling for pitches and hype. I fooled myself into thinking I was going to belong to a sewing community when I bought the subscription, the class, the hook line and sinker. I beat myself up because I didn’t reach my unrealistic expectations of endless sewing time and professional skills. I’m tired of this. Guilt is not a gift that I want anymore. It only makes me feel bad about myself and it lessens the fun of sewing and of life.
I want to sew. I want to enjoy sewing. I want to carry on the legacy of the women in my family; resourceful, creative, and talented in their craft.
While I have not yet made a pledge to buy no new fabric, or patterns, I am making a very concerted effort to sew with what I already own. To buy only what I really am going to sew. I’m no longer going to feel guilt over my fabric and pattern stash but I’m not going to be played anymore either. I’m going to try hard to be aware of what it is I really want and not be distracted by all the chatter of what’s in and hot and on sale and must have. I am sure this is the way to more self-confidence and true happiness through sewing. I’ll probably still laugh at fabric jokes but I’m hoping the inside cringe isn’t as strong.
How big is your stash and how soon are you going to use it?
(Yes, I do know this is a first world problem to complain about having things. I am grateful that I have everything I need and even things I want.)
[The women in my life are very talented. Grandma Wes sewed, quilted, knitted. My Aunt Bonnie is a perfectionist and also prolific in knitting, needle work and sewing. My mother-in-law is a genius at decorating, floral arrangement, gardening and crochet. My mom has tried many crafts, she’s good at all of them. I especially loved the paper mache frog waste basket she made in the 70’s. My older sister is a wizard in the kitchen and my younger sister paints and can have any young child in love with her in 30 seconds flat. She is the most awesome preschool teacher I know – soon to be rivaled by my daughter whose also a great knitter]
6 Comments on Stop Buying. Start sewing.
Leave a Reply
This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.
great write up!
thanks. I hope it doesn’t sound preachy – at the same time I couldn’t help myself. “Stuff” (too much of it – and my impulsive actions that bring home more) is getting on my nerves.
For me, growing up in a poverty stricken home, there was never enough. Be that food, clothing, warmth or even love. Add to that, the fact that I was the oldest, so anything that was outgrown was whipped away, to be passed onto the next in line, regardless of how I felt. For me, this upbringing translates into a myriad of behaviours surrounding hoarding. I can’t resist sales, have too many clothes, tend to buy loads of food, and cook enormous meals. I sew and cook for my family, because its a very real and tangible way to care for them. But, I do hoard a heap of fabric, because its mine, and I don’t have to let it go unless I want to. I am aware of these tendencies, and work around them, because they are part of me, and nothing benefits from being suppressed. Hoarding is rooted in our upbringing, our temperament and our history. Understanding why, helps us to modify our behaviour, because understanding eliminates guilt. I have learnt that fear often motivates me ….. fear of missing out, fear that the beautiful fabric will be gone, fear that there will be nothing for me. I am slowly teaching myself, that there is nothing to fear. There will always be beautiful fabric, and I should grasp things now, rather than hoarding for the future.
Thank you so much for sharing your story.
WOW, Dani, thanks for that. So many of the things I loved, as a child, were taken off me and given away without my permission. I’ve never seen the link between that and my tendency to buy and hoard. I’m aware that I like to spend “before the money runs out” and I’m actually pretty good at pruning my clothes but fabric, sewing machines and kitchen machines are another matter.
I’ve also realised, just this week, that I’ve spent so much of my children’s early years living in fear. They have additional needs and I’ve spent so much time fearing for their futures, worrying about their later years. They’re 11 and 14 now and none of my fears have come true (actually the opposite – I couldn’t be prouder) I say we let go of fear and start living 🙂
Both of these comments have really stayed with me the last few days. I never thought about fear as being my motivator but I’ve felt many of the ways you have both described. I was quick to blame the marketing machine but really, I see, it’s me. Dang. Apparently I’m good with avoiding deep issues 😉 Thank you both so much for opening up and opening my eyes.